Wedding Traditions and History
Planning your wedding? Haven't been to one lately? Whether you want to stick with tradition or break every one, here is a guide to basic wedding traditions and some of the origins for those traditions.
1. Marriage
2. White Wedding
3. Legal and Religious Requirements
4. Marriage License
5. Wedding Ceremony
6. Wedding Dress
7. Wedding Attendees
a. Bride
b. Best Man
c. Groomsmen
d. Bridesmaids
e. Flower Girls
f. Ring Bearer
g. Junior Bridesmaids
h. Ushers
i. Parents of the Bride
j. Parents of the Groom
8. Wedding Reception
a. Wedding Cake
b. Toast
For centuries Marriage or Holy Matrimony has been a sacrament in the Catholic Church, as well as other Orthodoxies, where it is defined as a relationship between man and woman. Marriage of some kind is found in most societies, and typically married people form either a nuclear household, which is often subsequently extended biologically, through children, or part of an extended family network. Alternatively, people may choose to be "childfree". Finally, they may be childless due to infertility, and possibly seek treatment or consider adoption. The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the phrase "out of wedlock" to describe a child born of parents who were not married.
The tradition of wearing white at weddings began due to the choice of color of the wedding dress of Queen Victoria at her wedding to Prince Albert. Queen Victoria was not the first royal bride to wear a white wedding gown, but the first of the modern era. White had been a traditional color of royal mourning, and until that convention had completely died, white could not have been a suitable choice for a royal wedding. Victoria's choice popularized the white gown as no other had before her. Previously, brides wore their best clothes or the most expensive new clothes they could afford. Gold or gold-threaded dresses became popular with royal brides; the rank-and-file wore dresses that reflected their station. White was one of many choices, pastel shades were also popular.
Until the mid-twentieth century, many brides in the United Kingdom did not wear a traditional wedding dress, merely a specially bought ordinary dress. This was also the case in pre-20th Century America where working and frontier brides often opted for a formal look that was practical and could be used again on special occasions.
Traditionally, the choice of the style of wedding was limited by the condition of the bride (unmarried, divorced, virginal etc.); the groom's status was immaterial outside of wearing a formal uniform if he is a member of the military or police. Some couples, wanting to avoid a perceived sexist connotation implied in the white dress have the groom dressed in a white tuxedo to give some parity. By extension, other variations are sometimes included to further this spirit such as the Mother of the Groom accompanying her son in the procession to the altar.
White weddings almost always take place in churches and people generally seek to be married in the most prestigious or picturesque church they can find. This often leads to the often bemoaned phenomenon of such churches attracting the unexpected attendance of unmarried couples who are in the early stages of planning their wedding and wish to be married there, but would not otherwise set foot in church. As a consequence, some church require that the couple either be parishioners or pledge to join and participate in the parish. In the United States, such weddings may also be held at the family's residence or in a private club.
After World War I, as full-scale formal weddings began to be desired by the mothers of brides who did not have a permanent social secretary, the position of the "wedding planner" who could coordinate the printer, florist, caterer, seamstress, began to assume importance. Bride's Magazine began to be published 1934, and its rival Modern Bride in 1949. Now a whole industry surrounds the provision of such weddings. The groom may be a mere detail: the new editor of Modern Bride began her inaugural column, without irony: "I really did have the wedding of my dreams, the wedding that had been floating around my head for years before I met my husband."
The full white wedding experience means that an organist, a choir, flower arrangements, flowers for lapels and commemorative wedding leaflets with the Order of Service need to be arranged and purchased. Also the hymns need to be selected and a reading from the Bible chosen. (Note: A less religious or non denominational form uses well known classical and popular music.)
Additionally, potential marriage mates will need to be confirmed in or converted to the religion or denomination of the church. At the very least the vicar, minister or priest will want to interview the couple and possibly have them attend marriage classes of some sort.
Every state in the United States issues marriage licenses. After the marriage ceremony, both spouses and the officiant sign the marriage license (some states require a witness). The officiant or couple then files for a certified copy of the marriage license and a marriage certificate with the government.
The requirements for getting a marriage license varies from state to state.
The groom and his best man wait inside the church for the arrival of the bride and her entourage.
This entourage generally arrives in elegant cars or in horse-drawn coaches, specially hired for the occasion. The bride's entourage normally consists of the bride, the bride's father and all the various bridesmaids, maids of honor, flower girls and page boys that are intended to attend her.
The following is a typical processional order:
1. The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the grandparents of the bride and groom to their seats.
2. The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the mother of the groom and mother of the bride to their seats.
3. The bridesmaids enter, escorted by the groomsmen.
4. The maid or matron of honor enters, either by herself or escorted by the best man.
5. The ringbearer enters.
6. The flower girl enters. (In some ceremonies, the ringbearer will accompany the flower girl.)
The bride then proceeds down the aisle, escorted by her father, to the accompaniment of music, and the ceremony starts.
In areas where this is required, after the wedding ceremony itself ends, the bride, groom, vicar and two witnesses generally go off to a side room to sign the state-issued marriage license, which is the civil ceremony aspect of the ritual. Without the signing of the register or the marriage license, no legally valid marriage existed.
Afterward, guests file out to throw confetti or rice over the newly-married couple for good luck. Although the use of rice is traditional, some discourage it, owing to a belief that birds may ingest it and experience extreme discomfort as a result of rice expanding in their gizzards. This does not seem to be the case (indeed, many species of birds live exclusively on rice); however, hence birdseed has emerged as an alternative to rice.
Finally, a photographic session ensues of the couple leaving the church.
The term Bridal Gown originates from the word 'al' which means 'party' combined with Bride is Bridal i.e. Brides Party Gown. Originally in the Middle Ages wedding parties were simply called Bride-al's.
Before a bride can be formally called "wife" or Mrs. (the surname of the bridegroom), she must finish the formal wedding procedure. In some cultures, successful sexual intercourse between the bride and bridegroom is a required step to complete (or consummate) the wedding ceremony.
In North America, the typical attire for a bride is a formal dress. For first marriages, a white dress is traditional. Etiquette prescribes that a white dress may not be worn for subsequent marriages (a direct symbolism of virginity), but this guideline is often ignored, brides wearing white dresses for any number of marriages. In addition to the gown, the bride normally also wears a veil and carries a bouquet of flowers. In some areas, a garter may be worn to be removed by the groom at a later time after the ceremony.
Traditional weddings require, in addition to the bride and groom:
Best man
a close male friend or relative of the groom, given a place of honor.
Maid of honor
The Maid of Honor (Bridesmaid) attends the bride at a wedding or marriage ceremony. a close female friend or relative of the bride, given a place of honor. If she is married, she is instead called the "matron of honor."
In the USA, the bride might have several bridesmaids, but this is the position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. If married, the title Matron of Honor is used.
This person is usually responsible for helping the bride to dress and prepare for the ceremony, to carry the groom's wedding ring to hand to the bride during the ceremony, and similar tasks.
Groomsmen
A groomsman is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. Usually the groom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom chooses one to serve as best man.
In a typical American white wedding, the duties of a groomsman typically include some or all of the following:
· helping the best man plan the bachelor party for the groom
· ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony
· escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle during the ceremony and reception
· giving speeches and toasts (however, this duty is usually performed by the best man)
· dancing with bridesmaids and other single female guests at the reception
The groom may also designate other male friends and relatives to act as ushers, whose main task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony.
Bridesmaids - one or more female attendants who support the bride.
Flower girl - a young girl who scatters flowers in front of the bridal party.
Ringbearer - an attendant, often a young boy, who carries the wedding rings.
Ushers - helpers, usually men, who assist with the organization.
Junior Bridesmaids - young girl typically between the ages of 8 and 16 who is too old to be a flowergirl, but the bride wants to be a part of the wedding.
Typically, these positions are filled by close friends of the bride and groom; being asked to serve in these capacities is seen as a great honor.
Mother and Father of the Bride- Father of the bride "gives her away" to her groom.
Mother and Father of the Groom- Get to pay for the Rehearsal dinner.
Wedding guests are generally sent invitations to which they are expected to reply. The guests are generally invited to both the wedding and the wedding reception afterwards, although sometimes reception places are limited. Often certain people are invited due to perceived family obligations, as to not receive an "invite" can be considered an insult.
In most Western countries, following a meal with copious quantities of food and alcohol (traditionally paid for by the bride's family and known as the Wedding breakfast) speeches are made by members of the wedding party wishing the couple well in the future. Traditionally, the speaking parties include bride's father, the best man (who usually slips in a few hopefully good-natured jokes at the couple's expense), and then finally the groom. In the modern U.S., speeches are more often given by the best man and the maid of honor.
After the speeches, the bride and groom begin their First Dance, which used to be called the "bridal waltz" (in most contemporary weddings a recent romantic pop song is played and the bride and groom's dance is rarely an actual waltz). Different dance styles are now used, depending on the nature of this pop song.
The wedding reception dance party may involve a certain sequence of special dances. For example, after the First Dance, the groom may escort his bride to her father for a special Father/Daughter dance.
Following the various special dances, the guests are invited to join in the dancing. The party continues with toasts and various celebrations until the bride and groom leave in a car "decorated" by the couple's friends.
Wedding traditions vary considerably between countries, and even between regions of the same countries. Some traditions include:
The money dance or dollar dance, at which guests pay a small amount of money to dance with the bride or groom. In some cultures, the money is pinned to a special apron worn by the bride. In others, the money is collected by friends, who sometimes give a shot of alcohol to each guest as they pay. This tradition is common in the U.S. Midwest, but considered tacky in other regions.
Tossing of the bride's bouquet and garter. The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the single women present. Whoever catches it is supposed to be the next to get married. Similarly, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the single men, often after removing it from her leg, to the amusement of the guests. Sometimes the man who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the woman who catches the bouquet. Sometimes the garter is sold in a raffle instead of being tossed. In some regions of the U.S., this is considered tacky.
Clinking of the glasses: Guests will often clink their glasses during dinner to ask the newlyweds to stand up and kiss. Some couples pass out bells for guests to ring instead of clinking glasses.
At some point the married couple will become the object of a shivaree, a good-natured hazing of the newly-married couple. While this is most familiar in the form of tying tin cans to the bumper of the couple's car, or spraying shaving cream on the windows, some of the pranks can be far more malicious.
Tradition generally requires that bride and groom together perform the first cut of the cake, often with a ceremonial knife, or even a sword. An older, archaic tradition had the bride serve all portions to the groom's family, as a symbolic transfer of her household labor from her family to the groom's family.
Tradition may also dictate that the bride and groom feed the first bites of this cake to each other. Again, this may symbolize the new family unit formed and the replacement of the old parent-child union.
Other guests may then partake of the cake; portions may be taken home or shipped to people who missed the festivities.
A portion may be stored, and eaten by the couple at their first wedding anniversary, or at the christening of their first child.
The origins of the tradition of the wedding cake are hard to determine. Sweets are traditional at many celebrations for most if not all cultures worldwide. Ancient Roman records detail sweets distributed at weddings. Medieval and Renaissance resources also mention large cakes at weddings. Such cakes may have been fruitcake.
A large cake can take a long time to make, and without modern refrigeration, a heavy fat and sugar frosting may have prevented spoilage by limiting moisture exposure. Another possibility is the use of sugar and fat required satisfying the need for conspicuous consumption for the families involved in the wedding.
Henry VIII of England enacted a law specifying the quantity of sugar a cake may have, possibly to control or tax this prevailing convention. During World War II, sugar was rationed in the UK, so icing could not be made, and cakes were reduced in size. To overcome cakes were often served inside a box, which had been decorated with plaster of Paris, to resemble a larger, traditional cake.
The act of toasting consists of three parts: The verbal toast, the agreement, and the symbolic drink. In the verbal part, one person states a reason for the toast. This can be as simple as "Here's to good friends," or as complex as an anecdote followed by a statement of good will (for example, "Wishing both of you a marriage that lasts forever"). Everyone else present signifies agreement by lifting their drinks into the air, often accompanied by shouted or murmured sounds of agreement such as "Hear! Hear!", and often followed by touching one's drinkware (the glass, the mug, and so on) against those of everyone else within reach. The symbolic drink is simply a matter of imbibing some of the drink to confirm the agreement; this can be a quick sip or a long draught, with no particular emphasis indicated either way.
Many situations in which toasts take place involve alcoholic beverages, usually champagne for particularly special occasions, but there is no requirement that the beverages contain alcohol. Often, drinks are mixed among participants, such as when some people drink sparkling cider instead of champagne.
At a western-style wedding reception, the best man usually proposes a toast (that is, he toasts the couple) in the form of best wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds, after which everyone raises a glass (usually of champagne) in agreement and then sips from the glass.
One of the oldest citations in the OED indicates that, while today honeymoon has a positive meaning, the word was actually a sardonic reference to the inevitable waning of love like a phase of the moon. This, the first literary reference to the honeymoon was penned in 1552, in Richard Huloet's Abecedarium Anglico Latinum. Huleot writes:
"Hony mone, a terme proverbially applied to such as be newe maried, whiche wyll not fall out at the fyrste, but thone loveth the other at the beginnynge excedyngly, the likelyhode of theyr exceadynge love appearing to aswage, ye which time the vulgar people cal the hony mone."
One origin of the word "honeymoon" is this: It was a common practice for newlyweds to drink honey wine (mead) for one month (one moon phase) to assure the birth of a son, thus a "honeymoon".
1. Marriage
2. White Wedding
3. Legal and Religious Requirements
4. Marriage License
5. Wedding Ceremony
6. Wedding Dress
7. Wedding Attendees
a. Bride
b. Best Man
c. Groomsmen
d. Bridesmaids
e. Flower Girls
f. Ring Bearer
g. Junior Bridesmaids
h. Ushers
i. Parents of the Bride
j. Parents of the Groom
8. Wedding Reception
a. Wedding Cake
b. Toast
Marriage
Marriage is a relationship that plays a key role in the definition of many families. In modern times, the term marriage is generally reserved for a state sanctioned union. The phrase "legally married" can be used to emphasize this point. In the United States there are two methods of receiving state sanction of a marriage: common law marriage and obtaining a marriage license.For centuries Marriage or Holy Matrimony has been a sacrament in the Catholic Church, as well as other Orthodoxies, where it is defined as a relationship between man and woman. Marriage of some kind is found in most societies, and typically married people form either a nuclear household, which is often subsequently extended biologically, through children, or part of an extended family network. Alternatively, people may choose to be "childfree". Finally, they may be childless due to infertility, and possibly seek treatment or consider adoption. The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the phrase "out of wedlock" to describe a child born of parents who were not married.
White Wedding: History and traditions
A white wedding is a term for a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding in British and American as well as Canadian traditions. Brides in many other countries are adopting this traditional white dress. This term refers to the white color of the wedding dress, which became popular in the Victorian era and came to symbolize purity of heart and the innocence of childhood. Later attribution suggested that the color white symbolized virginity.The tradition of wearing white at weddings began due to the choice of color of the wedding dress of Queen Victoria at her wedding to Prince Albert. Queen Victoria was not the first royal bride to wear a white wedding gown, but the first of the modern era. White had been a traditional color of royal mourning, and until that convention had completely died, white could not have been a suitable choice for a royal wedding. Victoria's choice popularized the white gown as no other had before her. Previously, brides wore their best clothes or the most expensive new clothes they could afford. Gold or gold-threaded dresses became popular with royal brides; the rank-and-file wore dresses that reflected their station. White was one of many choices, pastel shades were also popular.
Until the mid-twentieth century, many brides in the United Kingdom did not wear a traditional wedding dress, merely a specially bought ordinary dress. This was also the case in pre-20th Century America where working and frontier brides often opted for a formal look that was practical and could be used again on special occasions.
Traditionally, the choice of the style of wedding was limited by the condition of the bride (unmarried, divorced, virginal etc.); the groom's status was immaterial outside of wearing a formal uniform if he is a member of the military or police. Some couples, wanting to avoid a perceived sexist connotation implied in the white dress have the groom dressed in a white tuxedo to give some parity. By extension, other variations are sometimes included to further this spirit such as the Mother of the Groom accompanying her son in the procession to the altar.
White weddings almost always take place in churches and people generally seek to be married in the most prestigious or picturesque church they can find. This often leads to the often bemoaned phenomenon of such churches attracting the unexpected attendance of unmarried couples who are in the early stages of planning their wedding and wish to be married there, but would not otherwise set foot in church. As a consequence, some church require that the couple either be parishioners or pledge to join and participate in the parish. In the United States, such weddings may also be held at the family's residence or in a private club.
After World War I, as full-scale formal weddings began to be desired by the mothers of brides who did not have a permanent social secretary, the position of the "wedding planner" who could coordinate the printer, florist, caterer, seamstress, began to assume importance. Bride's Magazine began to be published 1934, and its rival Modern Bride in 1949. Now a whole industry surrounds the provision of such weddings. The groom may be a mere detail: the new editor of Modern Bride began her inaugural column, without irony: "I really did have the wedding of my dreams, the wedding that had been floating around my head for years before I met my husband."
The full white wedding experience means that an organist, a choir, flower arrangements, flowers for lapels and commemorative wedding leaflets with the Order of Service need to be arranged and purchased. Also the hymns need to be selected and a reading from the Bible chosen. (Note: A less religious or non denominational form uses well known classical and popular music.)
Weddings: Legal and Religious Requirements
For a wedding to take place preparations have to be undertaken dependent on the denomination of the Church involved. Roman Catholics must undergo a lengthy preparation with the Church, as well as meet any local requirements for a civil marriage. In the United States, a marriage license must be obtained prior to the ceremony; some jurisdictions have a waiting period. In the United States, states have laws which authorize a religious figure to grant a marriage, and the signing of a register has no legal effect. In most cases, the marriage is made legal by the signing and registration of the marriage license.Additionally, potential marriage mates will need to be confirmed in or converted to the religion or denomination of the church. At the very least the vicar, minister or priest will want to interview the couple and possibly have them attend marriage classes of some sort.
Marriage license
A marriage license is permission from a legal authority for the marriage of two people to be performed. The requirements differ depending on the time and place: licenses to marry have been granted since the Middle Ages. Valid marriages can occur without a license (for example, by obtaining pardon for having married without license, or by cohabitation and representation as husband and wife in jurisdictions permitting common-law marriages).Every state in the United States issues marriage licenses. After the marriage ceremony, both spouses and the officiant sign the marriage license (some states require a witness). The officiant or couple then files for a certified copy of the marriage license and a marriage certificate with the government.
The requirements for getting a marriage license varies from state to state.
The Wedding Ceremony
When the guests arrive for a wedding the ushers' duty is to hand out the correct mix of books, flowers and leaflets and ensure the guests are seated in the correct places. Traditionally, the side on which people sit depends on whether they are friends or family of the bride or of the groom. The front rows are generally reserved for close family or friends, with the very first seats reserved for the bridal party. However, in many ceremonies the bridal party will remain standing at the altar during the ceremony along with the bride and groom.The groom and his best man wait inside the church for the arrival of the bride and her entourage.
This entourage generally arrives in elegant cars or in horse-drawn coaches, specially hired for the occasion. The bride's entourage normally consists of the bride, the bride's father and all the various bridesmaids, maids of honor, flower girls and page boys that are intended to attend her.
The following is a typical processional order:
1. The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the grandparents of the bride and groom to their seats.
2. The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the mother of the groom and mother of the bride to their seats.
3. The bridesmaids enter, escorted by the groomsmen.
4. The maid or matron of honor enters, either by herself or escorted by the best man.
5. The ringbearer enters.
6. The flower girl enters. (In some ceremonies, the ringbearer will accompany the flower girl.)
The bride then proceeds down the aisle, escorted by her father, to the accompaniment of music, and the ceremony starts.
In areas where this is required, after the wedding ceremony itself ends, the bride, groom, vicar and two witnesses generally go off to a side room to sign the state-issued marriage license, which is the civil ceremony aspect of the ritual. Without the signing of the register or the marriage license, no legally valid marriage existed.
Afterward, guests file out to throw confetti or rice over the newly-married couple for good luck. Although the use of rice is traditional, some discourage it, owing to a belief that birds may ingest it and experience extreme discomfort as a result of rice expanding in their gizzards. This does not seem to be the case (indeed, many species of birds live exclusively on rice); however, hence birdseed has emerged as an alternative to rice.
Finally, a photographic session ensues of the couple leaving the church.
Wedding Dress in Western culture
In modern tradition, the color of western-culture wedding dresses is white. Used in this sense, 'white' or 'wedding white' includes creamy shades such as eggshell, ecru and ivory. The popularity of this color can be traced back to 1840 and the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg. The Queen chose to wear a white gown for the event. The official wedding portrait photograph was widely published and many brides opted for a similar dress in honor of that choice. The tradition continues today. Prior to the Victorian era a bride was married in any color except black (the color of mourning) or red (which was connected with prostitutes).The term Bridal Gown originates from the word 'al' which means 'party' combined with Bride is Bridal i.e. Brides Party Gown. Originally in the Middle Ages wedding parties were simply called Bride-al's.
Weddings: Attendees
Bride
A bride is the female participant in a wedding ceremony. The term bride comes from the Teutonic word for a cook. She is typically attended by one or more bridesmaids or maids of honor. Her male partner is the bridegroom or "groom."Before a bride can be formally called "wife" or Mrs. (the surname of the bridegroom), she must finish the formal wedding procedure. In some cultures, successful sexual intercourse between the bride and bridegroom is a required step to complete (or consummate) the wedding ceremony.
In North America, the typical attire for a bride is a formal dress. For first marriages, a white dress is traditional. Etiquette prescribes that a white dress may not be worn for subsequent marriages (a direct symbolism of virginity), but this guideline is often ignored, brides wearing white dresses for any number of marriages. In addition to the gown, the bride normally also wears a veil and carries a bouquet of flowers. In some areas, a garter may be worn to be removed by the groom at a later time after the ceremony.
Traditional weddings require, in addition to the bride and groom:
Best man
a close male friend or relative of the groom, given a place of honor.
Maid of honor
The Maid of Honor (Bridesmaid) attends the bride at a wedding or marriage ceremony. a close female friend or relative of the bride, given a place of honor. If she is married, she is instead called the "matron of honor."
In the USA, the bride might have several bridesmaids, but this is the position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. If married, the title Matron of Honor is used.
This person is usually responsible for helping the bride to dress and prepare for the ceremony, to carry the groom's wedding ring to hand to the bride during the ceremony, and similar tasks.
Groomsmen
A groomsman is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. Usually the groom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom chooses one to serve as best man.
In a typical American white wedding, the duties of a groomsman typically include some or all of the following:
· helping the best man plan the bachelor party for the groom
· ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony
· escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle during the ceremony and reception
· giving speeches and toasts (however, this duty is usually performed by the best man)
· dancing with bridesmaids and other single female guests at the reception
The groom may also designate other male friends and relatives to act as ushers, whose main task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony.
Bridesmaids - one or more female attendants who support the bride.
Flower girl - a young girl who scatters flowers in front of the bridal party.
Ringbearer - an attendant, often a young boy, who carries the wedding rings.
Ushers - helpers, usually men, who assist with the organization.
Junior Bridesmaids - young girl typically between the ages of 8 and 16 who is too old to be a flowergirl, but the bride wants to be a part of the wedding.
Typically, these positions are filled by close friends of the bride and groom; being asked to serve in these capacities is seen as a great honor.
Mother and Father of the Bride- Father of the bride "gives her away" to her groom.
Mother and Father of the Groom- Get to pay for the Rehearsal dinner.
Wedding guests are generally sent invitations to which they are expected to reply. The guests are generally invited to both the wedding and the wedding reception afterwards, although sometimes reception places are limited. Often certain people are invited due to perceived family obligations, as to not receive an "invite" can be considered an insult.
Wedding reception
A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. Some sort of post-marriage party is traditional in most societies around the world, but with considerable variety on the details.In most Western countries, following a meal with copious quantities of food and alcohol (traditionally paid for by the bride's family and known as the Wedding breakfast) speeches are made by members of the wedding party wishing the couple well in the future. Traditionally, the speaking parties include bride's father, the best man (who usually slips in a few hopefully good-natured jokes at the couple's expense), and then finally the groom. In the modern U.S., speeches are more often given by the best man and the maid of honor.
After the speeches, the bride and groom begin their First Dance, which used to be called the "bridal waltz" (in most contemporary weddings a recent romantic pop song is played and the bride and groom's dance is rarely an actual waltz). Different dance styles are now used, depending on the nature of this pop song.
The wedding reception dance party may involve a certain sequence of special dances. For example, after the First Dance, the groom may escort his bride to her father for a special Father/Daughter dance.
Following the various special dances, the guests are invited to join in the dancing. The party continues with toasts and various celebrations until the bride and groom leave in a car "decorated" by the couple's friends.
Wedding traditions vary considerably between countries, and even between regions of the same countries. Some traditions include:
The money dance or dollar dance, at which guests pay a small amount of money to dance with the bride or groom. In some cultures, the money is pinned to a special apron worn by the bride. In others, the money is collected by friends, who sometimes give a shot of alcohol to each guest as they pay. This tradition is common in the U.S. Midwest, but considered tacky in other regions.
Tossing of the bride's bouquet and garter. The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the single women present. Whoever catches it is supposed to be the next to get married. Similarly, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the single men, often after removing it from her leg, to the amusement of the guests. Sometimes the man who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the woman who catches the bouquet. Sometimes the garter is sold in a raffle instead of being tossed. In some regions of the U.S., this is considered tacky.
Clinking of the glasses: Guests will often clink their glasses during dinner to ask the newlyweds to stand up and kiss. Some couples pass out bells for guests to ring instead of clinking glasses.
At some point the married couple will become the object of a shivaree, a good-natured hazing of the newly-married couple. While this is most familiar in the form of tying tin cans to the bumper of the couple's car, or spraying shaving cream on the windows, some of the pranks can be far more malicious.
Wedding cake
A wedding cake is the traditional cake served to the guests at a wedding breakfast, after a wedding. It is usually a large cake, multi-layered or tiered, and heavily decorated, often with icing over a layer of marzipan, topped with a small statue of a bride and groom. Other common motifs include doves, gold rings and horseshoes, the latter symbolizing good luck. Achieving a dense, strong cake that can support the decorations while remaining edible can be considered the epitome of the baker's art and skill.Tradition generally requires that bride and groom together perform the first cut of the cake, often with a ceremonial knife, or even a sword. An older, archaic tradition had the bride serve all portions to the groom's family, as a symbolic transfer of her household labor from her family to the groom's family.
Tradition may also dictate that the bride and groom feed the first bites of this cake to each other. Again, this may symbolize the new family unit formed and the replacement of the old parent-child union.
Other guests may then partake of the cake; portions may be taken home or shipped to people who missed the festivities.
A portion may be stored, and eaten by the couple at their first wedding anniversary, or at the christening of their first child.
The origins of the tradition of the wedding cake are hard to determine. Sweets are traditional at many celebrations for most if not all cultures worldwide. Ancient Roman records detail sweets distributed at weddings. Medieval and Renaissance resources also mention large cakes at weddings. Such cakes may have been fruitcake.
A large cake can take a long time to make, and without modern refrigeration, a heavy fat and sugar frosting may have prevented spoilage by limiting moisture exposure. Another possibility is the use of sugar and fat required satisfying the need for conspicuous consumption for the families involved in the wedding.
Henry VIII of England enacted a law specifying the quantity of sugar a cake may have, possibly to control or tax this prevailing convention. During World War II, sugar was rationed in the UK, so icing could not be made, and cakes were reduced in size. To overcome cakes were often served inside a box, which had been decorated with plaster of Paris, to resemble a larger, traditional cake.
Toast
A toast is someone or something in honor of which people usually have a drink, or the drink or honor itself, or the act of indicating that honor. For example, a person could be the toast of the town, for whom someone proposes a toast, after which everyone toasts the honoree.The act of toasting consists of three parts: The verbal toast, the agreement, and the symbolic drink. In the verbal part, one person states a reason for the toast. This can be as simple as "Here's to good friends," or as complex as an anecdote followed by a statement of good will (for example, "Wishing both of you a marriage that lasts forever"). Everyone else present signifies agreement by lifting their drinks into the air, often accompanied by shouted or murmured sounds of agreement such as "Hear! Hear!", and often followed by touching one's drinkware (the glass, the mug, and so on) against those of everyone else within reach. The symbolic drink is simply a matter of imbibing some of the drink to confirm the agreement; this can be a quick sip or a long draught, with no particular emphasis indicated either way.
Many situations in which toasts take place involve alcoholic beverages, usually champagne for particularly special occasions, but there is no requirement that the beverages contain alcohol. Often, drinks are mixed among participants, such as when some people drink sparkling cider instead of champagne.
At a western-style wedding reception, the best man usually proposes a toast (that is, he toasts the couple) in the form of best wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds, after which everyone raises a glass (usually of champagne) in agreement and then sips from the glass.
Honeymoon
The final tradition is the newly married couple to set off for their honeymoon. A honeymoon is the traditional trip taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage, and presumably, consummate it. Today, honeymoons are often celebrated in secluded, exotic, warm, or other places that are thought to be special and romantic.Origins of the word honeymoon
The Oxford English Dictionary offers no etymology at all, but dates the word back to the 16th century: "The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure" (Samuel Johnson); originally having no reference to the period of a month, but comparing the mutual affection of newly-married persons to the changing moon which is no sooner full than it begins to wane; now, usually, the holiday spent together by a newly-married couple, before settling down at homeOne of the oldest citations in the OED indicates that, while today honeymoon has a positive meaning, the word was actually a sardonic reference to the inevitable waning of love like a phase of the moon. This, the first literary reference to the honeymoon was penned in 1552, in Richard Huloet's Abecedarium Anglico Latinum. Huleot writes:
"Hony mone, a terme proverbially applied to such as be newe maried, whiche wyll not fall out at the fyrste, but thone loveth the other at the beginnynge excedyngly, the likelyhode of theyr exceadynge love appearing to aswage, ye which time the vulgar people cal the hony mone."
One origin of the word "honeymoon" is this: It was a common practice for newlyweds to drink honey wine (mead) for one month (one moon phase) to assure the birth of a son, thus a "honeymoon".
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